Dear Abby

not as important as their children's right to be themselves.

Dear Unhappy:

Unhappy Conformist

I could not have said it better than you did.

Dear Abby:

Your answer to Torn was perfect. If those parents really love their tall, handsome, athletic son, the best way to show it is to allow him to be himself, even if his choice of a life's companion is another man, and not the woman of their dreams.

I speak out of agonizing years of personal experience. I made my personal decision on the basis of what would please my parents, my friends and society in general.

I have tried to live a straight life in a straight world and have been relatively successful. But each day is an inner struggle.

I have conformed to a way of life that is "proper," but it's unnatural for me. My life has been one long succession of unfulfilled yearnings.

I would advise any young person who is struggling with homosexual feelings to be true to himself. Thank God for the openness society is developing. Had I known 25 years ago that there could possibly be an alternative, I would have taken a different course.

Now, in my 40s I still wear a mask and am more miserable than ever. Surely those parents wouldn't want that kind of misery for their

son.

Abby, please continue to tell parents that the opinions of their friends and relatives are